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Talking bodies


I never really understood why we were spending so much time, energy, work to build time machine, some opportunities and people are long gone. I was much taken aback when someone who never spoke to stop me in the corridor and asked me if I considered working out because I had clearly become "fat" and that wasn't okay. I'm not sure if it was honesty that brought him to say this or was just a hurtful practical joke but then and there I shape shifted and time traveled to my past where it all came back to me. I was always the "chunky" kid while I was growing up and fat was the first thing that people thought about when they saw me, and I wasn't offended until I learned that it was meant to. I still explain my eating disorder better in present tense but I'm going to try to fight that urge.
I used to find comfort in food, so much that I could eat after any meal of the day no matter how full I was. I'd eat when I had nothing to do, when I had to celebrate, when I was sad, but my response to it all remained the same, food. Things took it course and highschool isn't an easy place to be for an overweight kid so I remember how I look at my eyes in the reflection and swore to loose weight. I counted every calorie that went into my body, it was almost like I had a kind of calculator in my head constantly sending alerts to remind me that I'd only be happy if I were hungry. I keep it up and fainting was an ocassional pass time.

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